Sex after giving birth: How a caesarean could ruin your sex life

Have a c-section might not be the solution to safeguarding your sex life Photo: ALAMY (POSED BY MODEL)

Brazil

is in the throes of a ‘caesarean epidemic’. The number

of babies being born following a caesarean section is at an all time high of

52 per cent – an average based on 40 per cent of state hospital patients and

84 per cent of private ones undergoing the procedure.

Why? Well, sex.

“The Brazilian woman is concerned with her sexuality and fears that giving

birth will alter the perineum, which is a myth,” explained Vera Fonseca, the

director of the Brazilian Federation of Gynaecological Associations.

In the UK, caesareans were always a clinical decision until the law changed in

2013 and patients were allowed to decide whether or not they wanted one. The

rate has crept up – not as dramatically as it has in Brazil – by 0.5 per

cent in 2013, with 25.5

per cent of British babies now born following the op.

GP Dr Arun

Ghosh, from the Liverpool Spire One clinic, told me: “There’s

definitely an element of the ‘too posh to push’ factor coming through.

People see it as a bit of a ‘designer’ choice.

“But when it comes to your sex life, they’re not always a good choice – in

fact, although you’ll retain vaginal tightness, which is great for your

partner, there’s nothing about the procedure which is great for you.”

He adds “Caesarean sections can actually make vaginal intercourse more

painful. There’s a greater risk of surgical scarring around your uterus, and

you’re much more vulnerable to infection.

“There’s also the hormone issue to consider. With a vaginal birth, your body

gets to release all the hormones that have been built up over the course of

the pregnancy. Dramatic hormone changes can cause anorgasmia, which means

that you can’t orgasm regardless of what’s happening in the vaginal area.

There’s a greater chance of this happening following a c-section as your

hormonal balance isn’t naturally restored.”

Dr Ghosh points out that, when possible, a vaginal birth is generally best for

the baby, too. According to him, babies are more likely to have breathing

difficulties if they come out before they’re ready.

His words come as something of a revelation.

I had always understood a c-section was not without its risks, but I had no

idea that, in many instances, a vaginal birth (with all those associated

horror stories of ‘tearing’ and ‘stitches’ we hear about) might be better

for a new mother’s sex life.

_{Mums need to be able to merge their old and new identities}

Socially, I think we have an enormous problem helping mothers to reconcile

their old selves and sexual identity, with their brand new job looking after

a newborn.

Of course, no-one should feel obliged to start going crazy in the bedroom

after they’ve given birth. But the statistics from Brazil, and surprising

counter argument from Dr Ghosh, made me think about how little public

information mothers can access about sexual health after childbirth – and

how we don’t make it enough of a priority.

My friend Emma, 32 and a new mum, tells me: “Honestly, I feel so many

conflicting things. I’m a bit frightened of it and no-one has really brought

it up. People at my NCT class ‘joked’ about it being safe three weeks

afterwards, but added – ‘although you’ll probably never want to have sex

again. Ha ha!’

“My husband is being really sweet about it and I just want to find the words

to tell him that I do want to. But I’m just so tired. I need someone, or

something, to actually make me feel sexy because my identity is now ‘mum’.

And while it’s the best thing I’ve ever done, I’m finding it so hard to

reconnect with who I was before.”

Emma’s friend Alis agreed. “I didn’t want to be the mum who waited until her

child’s 5th birthday, so I read a lot of forums online. I had a c-section

for various reasons, but smugly thought, ‘at least that will make sex

easier’.

“Happily it’s all worked out. But if I’d known more about the sexual risks, I

think I might have opted for a vaginal birth.”

Alis added: “I had no idea how much motherhood would test my self confidence.

Every time I see a picture of a celebrity mum looking amazing – and there’s

a caption about how motherhood really suits Kim Kardashian or Beyoncé, -

it’s really easy to read it as a passive aggressive putdown if you’re a

normal mum.

“Unless you’re a celeb, we’re told you can’t be a mother and be hot. I have to

consciously fight my feelings because those images make me feel wobbly. It

usually helps to imagine Blue Ivy was sick into her Mum’s very expensive

handbag immediately after the picture was taken.”

_{Bey and Blue Ivy – unattainable perfection}

Back in Brazil, it’s thought that the c-section rise is also down to a

different medical culture – patients report that they have felt pressured

into opting for one as Simone Diniz, associate professor in the department

of maternal and child health at the University of São Paulo, told
The Atlantic.

“It [natural childbirth] takes long, and the idea is we have to make it fast.

It’s impolite for doctors to leave cases for the doctors on the next shift –

there’s a sense that you need to either accelerate it or do a c-section.”

But Dr Ghosh says that unless the baby is exceptionally large, or the birth

will involve some trauma, they’re really not for everyone.

“Why have an operation if you don’t need an operation?” he asks.

Even from speaking to just a handful of people, it’s clear that we need to

address the culture of misinformation that surrounds motherhood, and

challenge head on the idea that your sexuality, post birth, is a misty,

mysterious land that is going to be difficult to rediscover whatever you do.

All adult women are entitled to a healthy, happy sex life at any age,

regardless of significant life events. It’s great to give us options in

order to help us make this happen – but it’s much more effective to give us

plenty of accurate information.

Even in researching this article, I’ve already learnt to question the received

wisdom around caesareans. For someone about to get married and approaching

the age where you might start thinking about having a family, it’s thrown up

plenty to think about. Not to mention giving me a new found understanding

around my new-mum pals.

This is the start of a journey for me. But if you’ve already set off on yours

– and have a caesarean story to share, why not get

in touch with me on Twitter, or message Telegraph

Wonder Women. We’d love to hear what you’ve got to say.

Find

the official NHS guidance on caesarean sections here.

Sex after giving birth: How a caesarean could ruin your sex life